From: Donald (dbjohnson@xxxxxxxxxxxx)
Date: Wed Dec 26 2001 - 22:43:09 GMT-3
Actually his figures are skewed, there are two santa's. I seen one at J C
Pennys and one at Macys, so ya gotta half those numbers anyway.
----- Original Message -----
From: "fwells12" <fwells12@hotmail.com>
To: "Virnoche, Phil" <phil.virnoche@attws.com>; <ccielab@groupstudy.com>
Sent: Friday, December 21, 2001 10:40 AM
Subject: Re: Christmas Humor
> Ahh, I can see you have been quite busy with your homework my child. Your
> calculations are indeed correct but you have forgotten the one thing that
> makes it possible to accomplish all this work in such a short time...magic
>
> See you on the 25th,
> -Santa
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Virnoche, Phil" <phil.virnoche@attws.com>
> To: <ccielab@groupstudy.com>
> Sent: Friday, December 21, 2001 9:26 AM
> Subject: OT : Christmas Humor
>
>
> > > Why I Don't Believe in Santa Claus,........
> > > I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in
> the
> > > world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,
> > > Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas
> > > night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population
> > > Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per
> > > household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at
> > > least one good child in each.
> > > II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
> > > different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he
travels
> > > east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits
per
> > > second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good
> > > child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop
> out,
> > > jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining
> > > presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him,
> get
> > > back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next
house.
> > > Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed
> around
> > > the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for
> the
> > > purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per
> > > household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom
> stops
> > > or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per
second
> > > --- 3,000 times the speed of sound.For purposes of comparison, the
> fastest
> > > man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles
> per
> > > second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per
hour.
> > > III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element.
> Assuming
> > > that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two
> > > pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting
> Santa
> > > himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300
> > > pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times
> the
> > > normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of
them ---
> > > Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not
> counting
> > > the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times
> the
> > > weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
> > > IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air
> > > resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as
a
> > > spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
> reindeer
> > > would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In
> short,
> > > they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the
> > > reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.
> The
> > > entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a
> > > second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his
> trip.
> > > Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating
> > > from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
> > > centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
> > > ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by
4,315,015
> > > pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing
> him
> > > to a quivering blob of pink goo.
> > > .......Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
> > > Thank You,
> > >
> > > Philip G. Virnoche CCNP
> > > Sr. Network Engineer - (the late) AT&T Fixed Wireless
> > > phone: 425.580.5239
> > > cell: 206.601.3134
> > > "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
> shoes.That
> > > way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them ...and you
> > > have their shoes."
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