From: fwells12 (fwells12@xxxxxxxxxxx)
Date: Fri Dec 21 2001 - 15:40:03 GMT-3
Ahh, I can see you have been quite busy with your homework my child. Your
calculations are indeed correct but you have forgotten the one thing that
makes it possible to accomplish all this work in such a short time...magic
See you on the 25th,
-Santa
----- Original Message -----
From: "Virnoche, Phil" <phil.virnoche@attws.com>
To: <ccielab@groupstudy.com>
Sent: Friday, December 21, 2001 9:26 AM
Subject: OT : Christmas Humor
> > Why I Don't Believe in Santa Claus,........
> > I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in
the
> > world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,
> > Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas
> > night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population
> > Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per
> > household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at
> > least one good child in each.
> > II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
> > different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels
> > east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per
> > second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good
> > child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop
out,
> > jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining
> > presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him,
get
> > back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.
> > Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed
around
> > the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for
the
> > purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per
> > household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom
stops
> > or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second
> > --- 3,000 times the speed of sound.For purposes of comparison, the
fastest
> > man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles
per
> > second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
> > III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element.
Assuming
> > that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two
> > pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting
Santa
> > himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300
> > pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times
the
> > normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them ---
> > Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not
counting
> > the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times
the
> > weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
> > IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air
> > resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a
> > spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
reindeer
> > would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In
short,
> > they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the
> > reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.
The
> > entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a
> > second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his
trip.
> > Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating
> > from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
> > centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
> > ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015
> > pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing
him
> > to a quivering blob of pink goo.
> > .......Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
> > Thank You,
> >
> > Philip G. Virnoche CCNP
> > Sr. Network Engineer - (the late) AT&T Fixed Wireless
> > phone: 425.580.5239
> > cell: 206.601.3134
> > "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes.That
> > way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them ...and you
> > have their shoes."
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