From: EdmondsSG@aol.com
Date: Fri May 07 2004 - 05:56:17 GMT-3
Oh well its Friday - time for some relief.......
2 eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the
craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat
it..
you see i'm against fox hunting, in fact i'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the
night before a hunt and shoot the fox!
I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this
vinegars got lumps in it!", the manager replied "those are pickled onions
sir.. Then I went down to the gym and said to the instructor, "can you teach me
to do the splits?" he said "how flexible are you?". I said "I can't make
tuesdays".
went on a business trip the other day. got the station and said to the
ticket guy "I want to go to Paris", he said "Eurostar?", I said "I've been on tv,
but I'm no Dean Martin". Got to the hotel and saw a group of chess
enthusiasts discussing theie recent tournament victories in the lobby. After about an
hour the mamager came out of his office and asked them to disperse. "But why?"
they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said "I cant stand chess nuts
boasting in an open foyer". That evening I was having dinner with one of the
chess guys and there was a check tablecloth. I took him 2 hours to pass the
salt! He said that i reminded him of a pepper pot. I said "I'll take that as a
condiment"
Saw a story in the paper about a women who had twins and gave them up for
adoption. One went to a family in Egypt and was called Amal. The other went to
a family in spain and was called Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his mum. Upon recieving the picture she tells her husband that she
wishes that she also had a photo of Amal. Her husband tells her that if
they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
there was a man who enterd a local papers pun contest. He sent in ten
different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately,
no pun in ten did.
NewsFlash: A lorry load of tortoises has collided with a train load of
terapins. Police say its a turtle disaster....
Simon
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