From: Christopher Jarosz (cajarosz@attbi.com)
Date: Thu Dec 05 2002 - 04:32:35 GMT-3
Hello Everyone !!!
This is a repost of a note from Phil Virnoche (THANKS PHIL !!!), I just had
to share this with the new members of the "Soon-to-be CCIE" group.
Happy Holidays from us here !!!
chrisj
----- Original Message -----
From: "Virnoche, Phil" <phil.virnoche@attws.com>
To: <ccielab@groupstudy.com>
Sent: Friday, December 21, 2001 9:26 AM
Subject: OT : Christmas Humor
> Why I Don't Believe in Santa Claus,........
> I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the
> world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,
> Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas
> night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population
> Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per
> household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at
> least one good child in each.
> II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
> different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels
> east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per
> second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good
> child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out,
> jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining
> presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get
> back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.
> Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around
> the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the
> purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per
> household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops
> or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second
> --- 3,000 times the speed of sound.For purposes of comparison, the fastest
> man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per
> second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
> III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming
> that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two
> pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa
> himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300
> pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the
> normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them ---
> Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting
> the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the
> weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
> IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air
> resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a
> spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
> would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short,
> they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the
> reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The
> entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a
> second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
> Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating
> from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
> centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
> ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015
> pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him
> to a quivering blob of pink goo.
> .......Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
> Thank You,
>
> Philip G. Virnoche CCNP
> Sr. Network Engineer - (the late) AT&T Fixed Wireless
> phone: 425.580.5239
> cell: 206.601.3134
> "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That
> way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them ...and you
> have their shoes."
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