From: Alan Simpkins (alan_simpkins@xxxxxxxxx)
Date: Fri Aug 11 2000 - 19:33:44 GMT-3
Freakin Hilarious! :-)
Aaron DuShey <aaron.dushey@dushey-consulting.com> wrote:
Just when you thought you were prepared-sorry couldn't resist:
The new qualifications for CCIE have been announced. I have a copy
of some
practice questions. They are as follows:
1. Describe the history of the papacy from its origin to the
present day,
concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social,
political,
economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia,
America, and
Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.
2. You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and
a bottle
of Jack Daniels. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your
work has
been inspected. You have 10 minutes.
3. 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the room. Calm them.
You may use
any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
4. Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human
culture if this
form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special
attention
to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System.
Prove your thesis.
5. Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute
and drum.
You will find a piano under your chair.
6. Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional
stability,
degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the
following:
a. Alexander of Aphrodisias
b. Ramses II
c. Gregory of Nicea
d. Iammurati
Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work,
making
appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.
7. Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end
of the
world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
8. Define management. Define Science. How do they relate? Why?
Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial
decisions.
Assuming an IBM 3270 with 257 Radio Shack and Panasonic terminals
and each
terminal to activate your algorithm. Design the communications
interface and
all the necessary control programs.
9. The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed
in a box
on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual printed in
Swahili.
In 5 minutes, a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room.
Take
whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your
decision.
10. There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start WWIII.
Report at
length on its socio-political effects, if any.
11. Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of
your
position.
12. Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an
evaluation of
the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
13. Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its
significance.
Compare this with the development of any other kind of thought.
14. Obtain 1 Van, 1 Car, 1 Truck, 1 SUV, 1 Boeing 747, 1 Naval
Freighter, 1
Dune buggy. Disassemble, put all parts in single tub, shake, now
reassemble.
Make sure no parts are put on wrong vehicle. No credit will be
assessed if
any parts are misplaced. You have 35 minutes. If everything is not
back
together in target timeframe, chair bomb will detonate.
15. Translate between female and male interaction.
a.Filter all communication except requests for incoming food, beer
and
admiration. Any misplaced or misconfigured filters will result in
immediate
release of 15 feminists with bats just after being told you are
Hugh
Heffner's best friend.
Extra Credit:
Define the universe. Give three examples.
Good luck. We are pulling for you. Feel free to ask proctor any
questions.
He likes to laugh.
looks like they've eased the requirements
Aaron DuShey
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